I agree it’s the degree of relationship that determines the level of grief, however, I’ve lost my mom, my dad and my husband and I can tell you that the loss of my husband was completely life altering and devastating. Where my mom’s and my dad’s deaths were not life-altering.

It was awful losing my parents, but I lived with my husband. We were best friends, we slept together, and we were involved in every aspect of our lives. He was my rock, my protector and my love!

Yes, there is hurt with every loss. Grief is horrible. Loss physically hurts. But, losing your spouse is absolutely life-changing devastating. There are hundreds of decisions to make. You have to create a new identity without your spouse and try to figure out a new future. While you’re emotionally depleted, you have to handle finances, and kids’ situations, and daily household chores. You have to learn to live with the empty places of your home where your spouse used to sit and sleep. That is, if you’re lucky enough to stay in the home–many spouses cannot afford to do that.

Unless your best friend, primary bread earner, head of household, lover, co-parent, person you spend 16+ hours with every single day is the person you lost, then it’s totally not the same. And frankly the only thing worse is a child.

So, I just don’t see an issue there. I’ve lost my mom and my dad (and my dad I was super close to), but nothing rocked my world like losing my husband.